How I Know I Don't Have Enough Friends...

Or maybe it's that the friends I do have just don't like me enough. Or my family. While I ponder that, I will tell you how I came upon this realization.

It started at my mailbox, I know it's Sunday - no mail, but I forgot to get it yesterday. Thankfully, since I signed up for all of those eco-friendly services to reduce the amount of junk mail I receive, I usually only get enough to fill the mailbox every other day.

On the way back to my door, I went through the letters.

• One big stack of advertisements that, out of principle, I will never look at, much less use.
• A letter from my bank - hopefully a statement and not a Notice Of Changes to my account, which we all know is bank speech for "more expensive charges for every reason we can think of".
• Three envelopes of identical size and return address (no name, just the address) with something hard inside of them, like a credit card.
• And one larger envelope that looked like a Christmas card!

As soon as I got inside, I dumped the ads into the recycling bin and threw the letter from Bank of America onto my desk (okay, I'm not that organized - it was the kitchen table, but it's almost like a desk). Then I sat down, tore open the first of the envelopes that had something inside of it, and peeked in. As soon as I saw what was inside, I squealed - a gift card! It was a gift card! Everyone loves gifts! And I had not one, but three of them in front of me! Who were they from? I pulled out the card and the attached letter. A bit of my glee disappeared as I saw who it was from.

It isn't as exciting to receive a gift card that you sent yourself. I'd traded in some airline miles from an airline I never planned on using again to get three $25 gift cards to a bookstore and two restaurants. It was so long ago, I'd forgotten.

At least I could take myself out to dinner, plus there was still the other envelope that really looked like a Christmas card. So I grabbed that one and ripped it open. It was! It was a Christmas card - not the finest quality, but I'm not picky. It had five different-colored Christmas tree ornaments in a row, hanging from a squiggly line of sparkles. Sparkles make me smile. The words wished me "Happy Holidays"! I wondered what the inside would say (seeing as how sweet the front was). I opened up the card and read:

Enjoy the gift of Netflix

It was an ad, there wasn't even a gift card in it.

Do you know how I'm sure I don't have enough friends. Because I put that card up on my mantel. Right next to the one I'd received from State Farm for Thanksgiving. Then I took myself out to dinner.